Confessions of a Workaholic

Hey y'all! How is everyone's week going? We are almost to the end of the week and we have been doing small prepping things for all kinds of different events. My cousin is getting married this weekend so we have been getting spray tans, getting our nails done, picking up my dress from the tailors, and getting my haircut. The list is never ending and still going because we are next doing our major prep for CCMF, which we are thrilled about but more on that later! But that is the workaholic in me coming out with all this prepping which is exactly what we are going to be talking about today.

There are only a few things that I will openly admit I am not good at and the two biggest things are admitting when I am wrong and knowing when to slow down or stop working. My parents will tell you that I've been extremely stubborn and hard-headed ever since I was a toddler. Whenever I did something would get yelled at, I would give them the death stare and argue my side till I was blue in the face (I should have been a lawyer). On the inside I can for sure tell you I was thinking, "They are SO MEAN. Why did they have to yell at me like that?" I didn't understand it at the time because I was of course just too dang stubborn but now I know they were just trying to show me the right way of doing something so I wouldn't make the same mistake later in life. It's because they LOVED me so much that they did this.

Stubbornness is a personality trait in which a person is unreasonably obstinate or unmoving and refuses to change their mind or opinion about a situation or action they have decided to take. If you are stubborn, you are unteachable and if you are unteachable, you will not grow. Humbling yourself and learning to admit when you have made mistakes is the only way to grow. This is something I still struggle with today. Our mistakes don't have to break us. We can bounce back from failure but failing to take action to correct our faults is where we actually fail. If you don't learn from your mistakes, you'll continue to run into the same problems throughout your entire life-- in your career, your lifestyle, your relationships, etc. Every setback has been placed in your path to teach you something very specific. It's your choice to either learn from it or let it make you bitter and ruin parts of your life. Every detour is an opportunity to gain wisdom, learn something new, or make better decisions from it.

TRUE LIFE: I AM A WORKAHOLIC

I don't think I can say I am a 100% recovering workaholic because I still love to work as much as possible because it keeps me motivated and my mind going. In every way, shape, and form I glorify being busy in all areas of my life because I find this balance that keeps me moving. I am a total slave to my to-do list. Every day I feel like I could work until 3 AM and still not get to everything that was coming my way: emails, messages, comments, creating, writing, accounting, planning, meetings, cleaning, groceries, events, gym, friends, texts, etc. In my mind, I can't slow down and I 100% overcommit to everything and everyone. I have read tons of books that have all preached the same concept: in order to be successful, you have to be obsessed with what you to do or want to do. And that is exactly what I am doing and it is WORKING.

My business has been absolutely booming, my YouTube channel has been successful for being so young, and everyone and their mom is telling me how great I was doing. I am “successful”!! The books were right…in order to be successful (in a worldly sense) you need to be obsessed. But what all of those books don’t talk about is the price you have to pay for committing to this type of drive to succeed and how it effects other areas your life: family, friends, relationships, faith, health, sleep, creativity, peace of mind. This driven mindset does have the power to lead you to the top of the mountain you’re climbing, but you have to keep your balance. What happens when you reach the top only to look around and see that the other areas of your life have been neglected? There is no joy in being alone at the top. Here is the biggest thing for me: winning the race of worldly success and social popularity does not equal total happiness.

WHAT IT HAS TAUGHT ME

It happens to all of us at some point and it has officially happened to me: the burnout. Not shocking that it happened most recently at the end of this school semester when I had just finished working with two different clients to create marketing ideas and social media designs, while also working on Southern Style, my YouTube Channel, trying to get regular workouts in, and planning travel for the upcoming summer. That sounds tiring doesn't it! At the end it was so incredible, I didn't even WANT to look at my phone and laptop. Then the slap in the face came – when I was ready to jump back into the grind of Southern Style and YouTube now that school was done. Something was holding me back. I couldn’t think creatively, I couldn’t express how I was feeling through my writing, I didn’t want to post anything or share anything, and didn't even want to do anything but lay in bed. I could. not. do. it. This was scary for me considering sharing and inspiring people through my words and videos is my passion and job. I was fighting against it so hard and asking God, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

And that’s when it hit me. God said: DANIELLE…SLOW DOWN. He would not let me take another step forward until I understood this. On the surface, I was putting more content out than ever before and gaining more subscriber than ever. Everything looked great and I actually thought it really was! But subconsciously it was wearing on me. The 100 mph pace of life I am trying to keep up with is not sustainable. He asked: Why are you running so fast? What are you chasing? So I searched for the answer.

I’m not in it for the paycheck, that isn’t what drives me. And my life doesn’t depend on winning the popularity contest on Instagram or Snapchat or YouTube or Facebook. It’s a big part of my life and I am so thankful for what social media has done for my business, but it’s also transformed over the last few years and placed a very harsh and visible number on what is considered worthy of a “like” or “follow”. How different would our feeds look if followers and likes weren’t public and only visible to us? What would you be posting and sharing? Somewhere along the way I got distracted from the reason behind my WHY. But my burnout brought it all back to me. I needed that reality check because I had forgotten the purpose for why I started sharing my life on the internet three years ago in the first place.

Through all of this and being a workaholic, I have been trying to put aside time and figure out My Why. My Why is just what it sounds like. Why I do all of the things that I do and what the driven purpose is behind it all. Only time will tell what My Why is but I am finding that I have to slow down and just take things in and enjoy it all because if I keep going 100 miles an hour, I am going to fly right by it all!

ASK YOURSELF

Here are some questions to ask yourself: What are you devoting too much of your time to lately? Is it social media? Work? Partying with friends? Overcommitting? Thinking too much about your dating life? Being a people pleaser? Figuring out how to look skinnier or prettier? Slaving over your to-do list? How often are these things distracting you from the more important things in your life? Please take this advice from a work-in-progress recovering workaholic and SLOW DOWN GIRL. The world won’t stop spinning if you give yourself a break to clear your head and rest. I constantly have to remind myself or else I fall back into the race. Being able to slow down in certain aspects has changed my life.

What I have had to accept is that this slower way of operating may not make me the most popular person on social media or earn me more money in my bank account. Or even that I might not impress the people I thought were worth impressing. But you know what it does mean? More time to actually enjoy this awesome time in my early-twenties. Freedom from the constant pressure of my to-do list that. More time for random phone calls with my mom, dad, sister, and long distance friends. Free time in the morning to journal and get my day started off right, not rushed. More time to read books and learn. More time to write about the things I’m passionate about. More time to do random things and learn new skills for making videos. More time to go visit my grandparents!

If the pace at which you’re living your life right now is requiring you to sacrifice your happiness and making you feel like you’re constantly running on E, you need to slow down. You need more time for the things in your life that truly make you feel content and add value to your life. If you are struggling, listen to what your loved ones and the people around you are trying to tell you. This is what will help you find the happiness and purpose you were working so hard to find.

Are any of y'all a workaholic or recovering workaholic? What is y'all's Why?

As always thank y'all for stopping by and reading! I will see y'all back here next time!

Love, D